Well, Grace and I were talking last night (we are in communication a lot!), and we were talking about how we never seem to run out of material for this site. Is that a good thing or a bad thing--I'm not really sure. Anyway, I had been meaning to write about contracts.
Will and I decided to make written contracts for our relationship, because obviously verbal ones weren't working. We talked about what we wanted to include in our contracts, came to a healthy compromise, and then wrote them down. They are pretty similar, but they are something close to the following:
Because I love God, Will, and our relationship so much, I promise to adhere to the following boundaries:
The boundaries were then listed
i.e. no making out, no turning on, not getting on top of each other etc.
But then, it was also very important to include that we are going to start praying together again.
We let that slide, and it caused our relationship to go downhill again. God must be the center of your relationship--your cornerstone in order for you to build a healthy, Godly relationship. We haven't done the best, but we are trying. And I keep praying that hopefully soon he will be able to step up and lead in prayer too. Anyway, when we finished the contract, we made copies for each other, and have them placed in our rooms in places we can refer to them often. It has only been almost a week since we have done this, but so far it has helped. We still have yet to ask our accountability partners about what to do if (and probably when) we will fail. We don't want it to be something that we beat ourselves up for, but it also needs to be something that we realize we are not just sluffing off the wrong we did. Anyway, contracts are something that i highly suggest, a written contract is way better than verbal, because now you have something to look back on and it is right in your face about what you promised to you, your partner, and God.
I also highly recommend accountability partners. His is a youth pastor from when he was in high school, and mine is someone that I highly respect and look up to. I suggest that these people you choose are not your own parents (unless you have a phenomenal relationship with them and are comfortable talking about this). They must be Christian, so they can help you along with your Christian ways you should act as Godly women and refer you to places in the Bible that reminds you of how beautiful all those feelings will be one day, but God didn't create the restriction to make you suffer, but rather to show you how beautiful it will be when you share it with that one person for life--like a gift (to refer to Gilmore Girls) it can only be given once, and if you re-gift it, it loses it's beautiful-ness and context, and meaning. Besides the fact that it hurts you, your partner, and God. And really girls, I am not just referring about sex here, I am talking about all the other steps that lead up to sex. Even getting giddy when making out--save that feeling so it doesn't become dull and lose the beautiful-ness God created you to have and share with your life long partner. Accountability partners are amazing, please use them!
So, in a quick one summary sentence, make a contract, pray, and use accountability partners!
Love you so much, and so does God,
~Hope
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