Hello ladies!
Well, I have wonderful news to share with you all! I'm engaged! Yay! However, with engagement, a whole new set of problems have come about! My wonderful, loving, and all together frustrating fiancé and I have over a year until the "big day", but we have fought more in the time we have been engaged than in the entire time we have been dating.
We have fought about the guest list and the reception and many other things. We have decided to just ignore those things somewhat until we really need to discuss them. And of course, the physical issue has not gone away!
I do fine not being physical until he initiates it. Really ladies, I am not all about being physical. You may be thinking "What?! But she writes about this all the time." Well sure, I enjoy it as much as the next lady, but it is my fiancé who must first get me into the mood. Sure, there are times that I feel like being physical, and that usually happens when I am PMSing. I know, that is also incredibly odd, because you would think that would be the time I don't want to be touched the most. However, he makes me feel sexy when his hands run over my curves, and he wants to touch me when I feel gross.
So, keeping those things in mind, we have failed, again. I am not bragging about these failures, I am just frustrated that we keep failing. We have less time in our engagement than we do in the entire time we have been together so far. That's not exactly uplifting or inspiring. How are we ever going to serve God, and walk together in our faith if we aren't doing it now?
Well, now let's take a pause, and let me tell you about some things I learned last night at Christian Challenge.
1. You should go into dating with the mind of marriage. Like the little kids song, "First comes love, then comes marriage." There is no "casual dating." We need to go into dating with the idea that we are going to get married, and if we aren't prepared for that, then why are we dating?
The following is Biblical proof for wives.
1. "Wives, submit to your husbands" Ephesians 5:22, Col. 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1. What this means is a wife should encourage, support, pray, give wise counsel, and then let husbands take control of the course of the marriage.
2. "A wife must not separate" 1 Corinthians 7:11 This means, when you become a wife, you become a wife forever. The Bible does give instances when it is okay to divorce, but these are extreme cases! You don't separate when you get married. You endure the good, the terrible, and everything in-between.
3. "A wife's body does not belong to her alone" 1 Corinthians 7:3 This means a wife shares everything with her husband. She doesn't hold anything back!
4. "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment but from your inner self" 1 Peter 3:1-3 This means that ladies, it's not about looks, it's about character. If you are out wanting to gain a guy because of your looks, or if you are choosing a guy because of his looks, try again. What's going to happen when you are 70 years old, guarantee you won't be as drop dead gorgeous/handsome as you were 50 years prior.
Now for men:
1. "Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" Ephesians 5:25. Which means a man should be ready to give life to the family, time, money, and love for the family.
2. "A husband must not divorce" 1 Corinthians 7:11 which means a husband is forever.
3. "The husband's body does not to him alone but also to his wife." 1 Corinthians 7:4 This translates into meaning that a husband should share all of his life with his wife.
4. "Husbands. . .be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect" 1 Peter 3:7 This means that a man should treat his wife with the HIGHEST consideration and respect.
Now ladies, if a man is not ready to do this, then he isn't the right one.
Here are further questions to consider.
For women:
1. Do you encourage or tear down?
2. Are you growing in character?
3. Are you wise?
4. Can you stand on your own two feet?
5. Are you growing in how you pray for others?
For men:
1. Are you a spiritual leader of others?
2. Are you hard working?
3. Do you take responsibility for yourself?
4. Do you commit your time to selfish pursuits?
5. What do you spend your money on? (Not just on the wife, but on things to better your both)
6. Are you able to give care and affection to others first?
7. Do you show/give respect?
So, last night, as I was sitting there, I was thinking, wow, there sure are a lot of things my fiancé doesn't fit into. Now I've committed to marrying him, but he's not at the right spot. And we've been arguing about this a lot lately too, how I am kind of tired of carrying his spiritually, I need him to be spiritually a leader or working harder on it.I asked him last week why he wasn't ready to commit everything to God, and he hasn't responded. I mean, I really want to know what's holding him back!
As I mentioned, last night we were fighting. He left me a message on my phone, and said in a very sad tone. . . "I'm really sorry I create about 90 percent of the tension we have, and I'm sorry as far as the boundary problems go, it's mostly my fault, because I sort of haven't held my own. It's been spoiling our relationship. I'm really sorry. At challenge tonight, it's I have to take the responsibility, and I haven't been doing that yet I have to take the responsibility, I'm really sorry."
So, all of this is great, because then he was listening at Challenge, but he has to actually show me he was listening now. So, this is possibly a "yay God" moment, but. . .I need to see it. Sorry only lasts so long. I can't go off of words alone anymore, I need him to show it to me.
Anyway girls, really take heed of what was taught, and apply it to your lives. Your dating, your single, your whatever. Because God wants the very best for you, so why not hold out for the very best?
Much love,
Hope
No comments:
Post a Comment