Seeking Grace

Lately it seems that I have been focusing on the overwhelming frustrations of being in a relationship. I feel the heartaches every time I fail to be the beautiful, Christ-like woman who my boyfriend deserves--the way he looks helplessly at me when I am crying, broken by another battle with Satan--I can't stand the things I do to him! I am constantly conflicted with selfish desires, sinful impulses, and the exhaustion of my unworthiness. In my darkest moments, I convince myself that it would be better for both my boyfriend and I to end our relationship--the reality of pain and failure all too probable.
Since beginning in this relationship with my boyfriend, I have treated both him and God poorly. I am guilty of second-guessing their decisions. I have taken them both for granted on multiple occasions. I have doubted the beauty they both see in me and have questioned their unfailing love. But, still, both God and my boyfriend forgive me every time I fail. Every time I fail. They tell me I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that things will be OK if I am willing to trust them.
I am so thankful for the blessings from the Heavenly Lover of my soul and for the love of my earthly soul mate.

Please keep me in your prayers,
Grace